Randy+Brooklyn: February 2019

This month was a biggie for me. To start off...I'm pregnant!!! I have been feeling tired and the big kicker was on January 14th we went SUP'ing with Chris and Jill at Kualoa Beach Park. They asked if I wanted to go out for a bit and although I said yes I REALLY didn't feel like it. As I was standing on the board gliding through the water all I could think about was how nice is would be to sit down on the board instead of stand. Once I had that thought my suspicions started. "Who gets tired from simply standing?! When have I ever felt this way before?" I remember telling myself I am either pregnant or something is wrong with me. I joked about it with Randy once I got back on the beach but didn't say more because I had done that in the recent past and had been totally off the mark. As soon as we got home I took a pregnancy test and couldn't believe it...the test was positive! "Don't get too excited yet--we don't know for sure." So I took another test from a different brand and sure enough it was positive too. That gave me the permission I needed to celebrate! Randy came in the house and I handed him both tests. "Are you serious?!" I nodded and we began celebrating. After I had calculated everything I realized I was only about 5 weeks along but the nausea and fatigue hit hard a few days later.

It feels similar to my pregnancy with Ezra--just slightly more intense. I don't want anything raw and mainly crave heavy carbs like bread. The nausea and fatigue have felt stronger and this sick period has lasted longer compared to being pregnant with Ezra. I have also felt a much greater need for dense sources of food like meat. One day I was craving a burger like nothing I have felt before so I got one from a local place. My friend laughed at how quickly I put it down and to be honest I remember feeling like I could have eaten another one with no problem. A big reason for this (I believe) is because I am still nursing Ezra so my body seems to be needing food constantly. My mom joked that I am currently using my body to sustain 3 humans. Although Ezra doesn't nurse that much anymore and my sweet new baby is smaller than a pea I am feeling it!

I can't express enough gratitude to my Heavenly Father for this miracle! Despite feeling tired and bloated I wouldn't trade it for anything!!! Randy and I had been actively (by this I mean I was taking the ovulation tests, the Bromocriptine--what I had to take to get preggy with Ez, and really watching the calendar).We did this for a few months and I was feeling defeated because nothing was happening. I decided that instead of stressing about it I wasn't going to try and rush things and wait until Ezra was done nursing before I really pursued getting pregnant again. Randy and I had an awesome talk about quality over quantity (sounds so funny) when it comes to kids and to not rush the needs of each sweet human that joins our family. And sure enough with no "active" trying I became pregnant a couple months later!

This truly was miracle to me for a couple reasons:

1) I really didn't want to rush Ezra with weaning. We both really enjoy the bond that nursing provides and he's close to weaning on his own anyway. I thought to get pregnant I would probably have to stop. I love that we can keep this bond going and gradually reach the weaning phase.

2) I know my body can get pregnant ALL. ON. ITS. OWN! I haven't had this belief/relief for years. I always thought because of my tumor and how it affects my hormone levels I would have to take medication (Bromocriptine) every single time. For some reason I get a lot of joy/satisfaction knowing my body is capable!

3) The timing is better than I could have ever planned. In terms of spacing and Ezra's development and are plans for the future I really couldn't have planned this better myself. I thought I would want our kids more close together in age but after talking to some friends I feel so good about Ezra getting more individual attention with being so young. My friend summed it up by saying there is a big difference in the maturity of a 2 and 3 year-old. She has four kids of her own and she's a rocking mom so I respect her thoughts on parenting. Ezra will be almost a couple months shy of 3 years old when his sibling will be born.

High Performance Planner Surfing Success

I know this sounds cheesy but a planner helped me have some cool breakthroughs with surfing this month (before I found out I was pregnant). Naturally I am not a brave balls to the wall kind of person and it is pretty evident in my surfing. Although I am confident in my swimming abilities, surfing is another beast. I get nervous easily and even slight changes can make me want to come in. Through using this planner it made me push myself in a very intentional way (in multiple aspects of my life) and I really noticed big changes with my surfing.

I caught waves at 2 new spots that I have never surfed at before. The waves were not big but just the fact I was willing to paddle to the spots by myself (Randy was watching from the beach with Ezra cheering me on) was a big deal for my timid surfer self. I paddled out to Kammies and Sunset! Spots I associate with surfers who are much more experienced than I am. Both places I had good sessions and caught a few waves and was able to hold my own. It sounds funny but without the intentional pushing of my planner I wouldn't have done it.

I also had one of my absolute best surf sessions with Randy at Puaena Point. This is an easy spot but the big deal for me was really figuring out how to go left. I am goofy-footed (put my right foot first) so it is easier for me to go left (facing the wave) but I always struggled to do this and would never really try bc in my head I had this weird belief that because I was right-handed (I know this makes absolutely no sense) I would always do better going right...which is actually much harder because the wave is behind you.

So with Randy's encouragement (he's been telling me to do this for years now--an example of my hardheadedness and his extreme level of patience) I finally let go of my fear and listened. As you can probably guess the outcome was good...I LOVED it and could actually ride around on the wave! I FINALLY realized how people were able to do this! Also this was a very epic session because Randy and I had not surfed together is so long but we planned it as a date and got a babysitter for Ezra and we were able to hold hands on waves (one of my absolute favorite feelings in the world)! I couldn't believe the high I felt as we got out of the water...is this how people get addicted to surfing?

I used to wonder "Why is the world would anyone enjoy this sport!?" It takes a lot of planning and work to make sure conditions are good, paddling out can be exhausting, you spend a lot more time working/waiting compared to riding waves (a couple of seconds at best), and you have to take beatings from the ocean. How can anyone find this fun? In my opinion this sport has a high learning curve and takes A LOT of humility compared to others. But realizing anything is truly learnable--even if you are a scaredy-cat like myself can be hopeful. I just kept forcing myself to go (especially at the beginning) and over time I have begun to really enjoy it as my skill and comfort increase.

Other Stuff

I was called to be a counselor in Relief Society for church. I haven't done much with it yet but look forward to helping my sisters. Ministering to others in need is our huge focus but I'm still learning how we go about doing this and what my role is.

We having dinner with our Brazilian friends (Cristina and Anderson). Hands down they made the most amazing food I have tasted in a LONG time! It was a dish called moqueca. I am determined to figure out how to make it but seriously I couldn't stop eating and making "mmmm" noises.

Ezra and I went to Hukilau beach with our friends Eden and Stacey and Seven Brothers afterwards (where I scarfed down my huge burger). Went on another cool date with Randy to Waimea Bay. I let go of my fear again to body surf in the waves (which to me seemed big but Randy would disagree). After a while I started getting used to the sensation of being thrashed to the ocean floor and riding the waves and to be honest it felt pretty exhilarating. We also went on a Savers date (if you know us you know we shop here A LOT). We had never been to the "big one" in town. Wendy was nice enough to watch Ezra but after lots of searching I still prefer our original Savers in Waipahu. I also set up a "date" for myself and went to the meditation center in Pupukea. There is something so rejuvenating about absolute quiet and spending time alone. I also took Ezra to the Kahuku library and he is in love with the play area and all the books about trucks and excavators. Bonus for parents--they do movie nights and set up "theater seating" for the kids and you can enjoy some time reading your own books!

Dreams do come true